I haven’t written for a while…actually months. It’s not that I haven’t had anything to say it’s just that I have had so much to say I didn’t know where to begin. But today, today is different. What I feel like sharing is very simple. After reading one of my favorite poems by Nikki Giovanni I really began to think about the idea of friendship within a relationship.
Though it may sound as if it is a cliché, friendship is really the foundation of a successful relationship. When you are friends first and foremost you truly are open to hearing the other’s point of view because it is important to you. The other person adds to your life and therefore you want to take into consideration what they have to say. When friendship is the foundation, your deep seeded love for that person is not grounded in the superficial its grounded in a respect and an understanding of that person…right? When I think of my closest friends over the years there have been so many times we haven’t seen eye to eye. We may have hurt each other unintentionally, we may have offended each other. However, our respect and love for each other always brings us back to a place of understanding, respect and forgiveness. No, we will not always see eye to eye but we respectfully accept each others opinions, we hold their opinions in high regard and we do not dismiss each other when we don’t fully understand their point of view.
This approach is what I realize needs to be applied to all relationships including relationships with family members and romantic ones at that. Maybe I owe some people in my life an apology a genuine one…maybe some owe me an apology as well. As long as we keep our friendship first we should end up where we started.
A Poem of Friendship
We are not lovers
because of the love
we make
but the love
we have
We are not friends
because of the laughs
we spend
but the tears
we save
I don’t want to be near you
for the thoughts we share
but the words we never have
to speak
I will never miss you
because of what we do
but what we are
together
~Nikki Giovanni
