I think I’m having some sort of quarter and a couple of years life crisis lol. I thought I had it all figured out, my career path that is. I mean my plan was to apply to art business programs for fall 2011 and actually get in, start my education, become the best gallery manager/art broker/ exhibition designer/ art outreach program manager there was. All this while also running a successful wardrobe styling/fashion blogging business. Somewhere in there I planned to start my family have a few kids, live in my dream brownstone etc. etc. etc.
But things do NOT always go as planned. Let’s recap the last year or so: I accepted a new 9 to 5 that actually plays to many of my strengths, to my surprise I began to LIKE my job. I started to become distracted by my 9 to 5 kind of forgetting about my timeline for school. Then I started to remember, wait this is not my career path plan, this 9 to 5 isn’t part of my vision board and my vision for my future. Though I have to be responsible and fulfill my obligations, while doing well because it’s a reflection of who I am, I cannot become distracted by this job.
Ok, glad I got that under control. So I began to refocus and balance my job with my timeline for graduate school. But wait, I’ve also been trying to manage this business that I absolutely have a passion for, wardrobe styling. In this zone I am free, creative, I can do and be who I want. I can create art on a shoot set time and time again. I can help others feel confident in themselves and their image by helping them put together a look that is right for them. I began to focus most on this passion. Networking opportunities galore, writing and blogging opportunities began to pop up from everywhere. I began to really study my craft, learn about the designers I so often wrote of in my blogs and learn about those in the business who’ve become successful. All my free time, and time I was supposed to be devoting to something else began to shift to my love for fashion. But again, I thought wait, I am supposed to be applying to school for art business.
So again, I brought myself back and began to refocus. I took my GRE, began finishing up my applications. But every time I sat down to write my statement or my essay for each application, I was overcome with the thoughts of “are you going down the right path?” “do you really want to get into this industry?” “What will become of your pull toward fashion?” “Should you look into other avenues?” “I thought your interest was in styling and fashion journalism?”
I wish I had an answer for you all now, for myself now lol. I do not. However, I do know that when questions arise you have to take the time to reflect and answer them honestly to yourself. I also know that in matters like this you cannot allow yourself to be overcome with fear or hesitation. I know what I love, I know who I am, and I know my abilities. I know where I am happiest, I know where I feel I can make an impact. As long as I play to these things I’m good to go. Over the next few days I will spend time praying and figuring some things out. I will no longer ignore my need to pull away and think a bit. I will finish up my grad school apps(b/c they are due by 2/15) However, I will determine which programs I really want to apply to. I will also realize that my life does not have to all be figured out in the next 10 minutes…lol
